Saturday, 11 May 2013

Incredible night out

In the news today, an incredible event that took place in the city of York involving the Hulk.  North Yorkshire Police have issued a statement following an assault on a female that suffered a black eye after the green fictional monster struck.

The statement says, "At the time of the incident, the woman suspected of the assault was covered in green body paint with dyed red hair”.  It is however suspected that the green angry assailant was a female in her early 20’s around 5ft 8 in tall of a medium build.  This would immediately rule out the real incredible Hulk, as I’m sure he is much bigger and a man.

The incident took place in the early hours outside the local McDonalds restaurant and appears to have been an unprovoked attack.  Detective Constable Cheryl Hunter, who is investigating the crime said: "Thankfully the injuries were not too severe. However, the outcome could have been far more serious”.  It’s unsure from the victim as to what if anything was said during the beating, but if you’re like me you’d have wanted the words, “Don’t make me angry………” somewhere in there.

Police have asked that if anyone witnessed the occurrence and can identify the Hulk, to contact them.  I wonder how many calls they have had recognising her as the incredible Hulk?  I’m guessing her friends are keeping silent about this, maybe they were all dressed similar and to squeal on her would break the super hero’s code.

The target of this comic book attack should really think of herself to be lucky that she didn’t come up against any of the other super heroes instead of the alter ego of mild mannered scientist David Banner. The real Hulk had green hair if I remember correctly; the assailant had made the error of dying hers red, possibly down to a lack of research. If you’re going to be a gigantic, green, illuminated, mutated humanoid monster with incredible strength, and an inability to control your rage, at least get the costume right!

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