Friday, 12 April 2013

Zombie Fruit Truck

In the news today, California has reportedly been infested with zombies after a man driving a lorry crashed attempting to shake the living dead from his vehicle causing damage and injuring a number of people in the process.

Jerimiah Hartline, who is 19 told police that he swerved across the road out of control when the zombies hung onto the side of the vehicle, which Hartline had stolen.  The incident caused other motorists to crash putting one female in hospital with serious injuries.

Police said that when Hartline was found he was in an ‘altered’ state, really?  I didn’t see that one coming.  The stolen lorry which was full of strawberries had stopped on a weighbridge when the thief took the vehicle; it isn’t confirmed if he took the truck in an attempt to flee the zombies or if they appeared after he fled with it.

Hartline has actually pleaded not guilty to the six offences he has been charged with, including assault by a deadly weapon, i.e. the truck.  I’m guessing he is sticking with the zombie defence on this then.  You never know he might surprise the court when he calls his witnesses and several dead people drag themselves in, dropping rotten body parts onto the courtroom floor.

There was no mention of any drugs being found on Hartline upon his arrest, so we must assume that they were already within his system and had taken effect.  Given the lack of any other zombie related reports that day, I’m sticking with the hallucinogenic theory. Even the other people involved in the crash failed to mention seeing the undead.

It’s such a shame that British TV doesn’t show real courtroom cases; this is definitely one I’d tune in for, I can’t believe that he has even got a lawyer to take this on.  The case continues. 

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