Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Pain in the glass

In the news today, an ill-fated pigeon has left a lasting impression upon a Dunblane householder when it slammed into one of his windows.  The bird has surely been left in pain, after its close inspection of the pane, of the house in Scotland.

Stuart Milligan's kitchen window now has the perfect imprint of the pigeon after the bird, not renowned for its intellect, smashed into it.  The mark left by the bird is in such great detail that Stuart’s neighbours are keen to know where he got the decorative addition to his house.

Encouraged by the sudden interest in his previously plain and ordinary window, I wonder if Stuart is now hoping to lure other more exotic birds to embellish the remainder of his house. He could place various tempting bait on his windowsills to get the wildlife flocking to his house.

I’m sure cardboard cut-outs of provocative and teasing female birds cleverly placed on the inside of rooms will have the birds hurtling at full speed towards his windows.  He will of course need to keep his panes cleaned to enhance the ruse.

Before any bird lovers start reporting me to the RSPB, I am using my literary overemphasis and would of course never condone the needless suffering of our feathered friends in the pursuit of stylish window adornments. 

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