Friday, 26 April 2013

Harpoon buffoon


In the news today, a Brazilian man has somehow managed to shoot himself through the eye with his harpoon gun.  The 12 inch harpoon pierced his skull, almost exiting through the back of his head.

Bruno Coutinho was apparently cleaning his gun at his home in Petropolis when he accidentally triggered it, sending the harpoon through his left eye and into his head.  Doctors are amazed that no lasting damage has been caused by the man’s evident display of stupidity.

In two operations resulting in the harpoon being finally removed after a staggering 10 hours embedded in his skull, Bruno is said to be recovering well in hospital, although he has lost the sight in his eye.
Dr Orlando Maria, who is the chief of neurosurgery at the hospital, said, “The harpoon came within millimetres of piercing a major artery”,clearly his brain was missed due to its below average size, little brain equals less chance of damaging it.

I have conducted a little research into harpoons, intrigued as to how Bruno could have feasibly shot himself.  They seem to come in a variant of designs and methods for firing, the main common factor being that you need to pull atrigger. They are also fairly long so the gun itself is required to be so tooin order to accommodate the harpoon.

It isn’t like a barrel of a conventional gun, there is a big pointed harpoon sticking out and to place this anywhere close to your head does seen to me to be a monumentally unwise action. Bruno was said to have been cleaning the thing, perhaps the instruction manual doesn’t translate exactly into Brazilian and somehow interprets as, ‘Clean the incredibly sharp point of the harpoon by placing it in front of your eye taking care not to trigger the firing mechanism as this could result in injury or even death you dumb ass’.

I don’t know Bruno’s reasons for owning a harpoon but I’m sure he has a valid explanation, but his actions have placed him firmly into the realms of the institute for the colossal hall of fail.  This was being a failure on a World class level and it is no doubt this immense display of dumb that saved his life by not damaging his pea brain. Unbelievable.


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