Thursday, 21 March 2013

Hello my Deer

In the news today, Kalamazoo police in Michigan had a fright when they spotted a suspicious vehicle that was parked behind a motel at night.  The driver of the car informed officers that he had hit & killed a deer whilst driving & was taking the road kill home for food.

When the driver was asked to pop the boot, or trunk dependant on your location in the world, a startled deer leaped from the car & made a dash for freedom into the nearby woods.  The officers on board camera caught the moment that the mammal escaped its metal tomb.

A couple of questions immediately spring to the forefront of my mind.  The first being, what was this man doing parked at a motel with a deer in his boot/trunk?  The second being, what else was in is car?
If I was one of those police officers, being the instinctive mistrustful person that I am, I’d want to be establishing the following two facts:

1.      Was there a motel room booked in the name of Mr & Mrs Fallow?
2.      Were there any surgical gloves, plastic sheeting & lubricant in the car?

I’m not totally acquainted with the ways of the state of Michigan, maybe this is normal behaviour of that part of the world. “Howdy officers, just out for a drive with my special lady Muntjac, it’s our second wedding anniversary, going back to the motel where it all began”. 

It’s amusing that the city has Zoo in the name, given what the yet unnamed man was potentially discovered doing.  He claimed that the deer would be food for his family, but I’d put money on his household containing straw on the floors & pretty lace deer shaped dresses in the wardrobes.

All’s well that ends well with the deer making it away from its weird captor & back into the wild where it belongs.  It’s probably telling its entire herd about his bid for independence & the promise of a better life over the border.  “I met a man he promised to help me in exchange for special favours but the feds busted us & I had to run into the woods”.

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