Monday, 25 March 2013

Groundhog weather

In the news today, an Ohio prosecutor has called for the death penalty for a rodent after the groundhog wrongly predicted the weather. Calling it an ‘unclassified Felony against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio’, County attorney Mike Gmoser issued the official looking indictment.

The ‘World famous’ Punxsutawney Phil the weather predicting groundhog has got himself into trouble for getting the forecast wrong.  Those of you reading this & having no idea of Phil’s celebrity, don’t worry you are not alone. 

The Butler county attorney also added, "The people further find and specify that due to the aggravating circumstances and misrepresentation to the people that the death penalty be implemented to the defendant, Punxsutawney Phil."  Although the indictment is very tongue in cheek, Phil’s owner John Griffiths retaliated & declared the groundhog was innocent & blamed it on spring-like temperature spikes since February. I’d put the fault on people relying on an oversized rat to tell us the weather forecast.

There seems to be no indication as to how Punxsutawney Phil delivers his predictions, if it’s standing in front of a massive map of America waving his paws to illustrate sweeping winds & cold fronts, I for one will be very impressed. Not sure his little claws could operate the little button to change the picture though.

Groundhogs are accomplished swimmers, burrowers & excellent tree climbers & hibernate for the winter from around October until March or April. Although a wild animal they can be raised in captivity but are renowned for their aggressive nature, possibly when they are woken from hibernation & asked to give a weather forecast. 

The death penalty in the state of Ohio is either by electrocution or lethal injection, the inmate choses, that should be interesting. They'd have to make a tiny chair from matchsticks & hook it up to a car battery. 

I have a couple of guinea pigs that sit around just eating & sleeping mainly, think it’s time they earned their keep, plus if they get it wrong, the worse sentence in the UK is life imprisonment, so they're on to a winner whatever. 

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