Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Forgive me, I have conned


In the news today, that a fake Bishop has fooled red faced Cardinals in Rome.  The cheeky chappie dressed in a Bishops outfit, but a very implausible Fedora hat, has chatted to the humiliated holy men outside the Vatican.

The Cardinals were all attending a meeting at the Pope Paul VI hall as the process of electing a new leader continues.  The bold religious pretender is seen shaking hands & posing for photographs with Cardinal Sergio Sebiastiana.  

It is thought that the con man has managed to extract information regarding the up and coming election of a new Pope.  However in true Vatican tradition a spokesman has stated that they know nothing about the incident in which the comical character has deceived the senior clerics.

The divine Cardinals failed to notice that the imposter, who has been identified as German born Ralph Napierski, was wearing a purple scarf as a sash, that his black cassock was far too short & that his crucifix was on a short metal chain.  If they weren’t obvious enough, his Fedora style hat made him more like Del Boy than Bishop Basilius, who he claimed to be, from the Italian Orthodox church, which doesn’t even exist.

He was only rumbled when observant Swiss Guards noticed his vestments were wrong & then started to take a closer look at his costume which looks as if he hired it from a cheap high street fancy dress shop.  After the incident it has also been discovered that Ralph has his own web site where he claims to be a Bishop with the Catholic Corpus Dei.  The site is as unconvincing as his attire, littered with spelling mistakes & depicting images of the devout fraudster dressed in robes.  He also describes himself as a “Slave & apostle like St Paul”.

Whatever the reasons behind this individual’s righteous stunt, questions need to be raised as to how a man clearly dressed as a comedy TV Priest has managed to scam the Cardinals in Rome.  Maybe it’s their general holiness & trusting all mentality that makes them see only the good in their fellow man.  Or maybe they’re just dumb.  Forgive me cardinals for that previous remark. (Was fairly apparent however, duh!).    

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