Thursday, 14 March 2013

A tall order........of Giraffe

In the news today, supermarket giants Tesco in their bid for World domination have moped up another company to add to their ever expanding empire.
Along with its recent acquisitions of the 49% share of Harris & Hoole coffee shops & an investment in the Euphorium bakery chain, Tesco are another step closer to global supremacy with the purchase of restaurant chain Giraffe. The takeover has cost the store £48 million which should equate to a week’s takings in a couple of shops.

Given that the whole horsemeat scandal started with Tesco burgers, how ironic that they are now buying Giraffes.  They are said to want to ‘Implant’ the restaurants into its larger stores where there is an excess of retail space, possible the in vast expanse left by the burger freezers.    
Don’t rule out seeing Giraffe meat on the shelves either, celebrity chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall has confessed to eating it & saying it’s delicious too.  After all it wasn’t that long ago that you would never dream you’d been eating horse.

The move to buy Giraffe is seen as the retail goliaths putting their necks on the line in an ever increasing endeavour to own every company in the World.  In the future we will be shopping at ‘The Company’ & one person will own it all sat in a space ship orbiting the globe so they can view their realm whilst stroking a white cat.

As the country’s eating habits have changed as a direct result of the horsemeat scandal, Tesco will want to do everything that it can to deflect any attention away from this hot potato.  Their answer appears to be throwing their cash around & buying things, we all feel better after a good spend up. 

They should really look at buying the Nairobi restaurant called Carnivore; this will actually cook & serve along with other wild beasts, Giraffe.  They could attach a chain of them to the shops, they could get the ingredients straight off the shelf.

No comments:

Post a Comment