Monday, 11 February 2013

Posse Power

In the news today & sitting under the 'Are you for real?' section, is veteran actor, (veteran = past it but no one has the guts to tell him), Steven Seagal, & his involvement in the Maricopa County volunteers which is a US school guard ‘Posse’.

Dressed in what can only be described as man in midlife crisis clothing & sporting his ‘natural’ boot polish jet black hair & trendy 1990’s goatee beard, Seagal was on hand to train students in hand to hand tactics, self-defence & how to look mean whilst running out of an exploding ship & dodging hundreds of bullets that would kill any mortal man.

The fact that Seagal was drafted in by Maricopa County Sheriff who has given himself the title of ‘America’s toughest Sheriff’, speaks volumes. Not sure why the Sheriff has appointed himself this lofty accolade but I’m guessing he watches a lot of action movies. And I’m totally sure that the reality TV show starring Seagal entitled, ‘Steven Seagal: Lawman’, was just a complete coincidence & did not influence his decision to join the Posse.

Basically the 3,000 strong group are volunteers that dress in uniform, (the type of uniform is not stated but I’m betting it involves camouflage & face paint), they drive marked vehicles, (again not stated but it won’t be push bikes), & they patrol outside schools & can enter them at the sign of danger. 

They have been greeted with widespread criticism, with a local politician calling it, ‘Ludicrous’, & in respect to Seagal, asking why Clint Eastwood & Chuck Norris haven’t been asked either to add to the ‘circus’.  Be it a publicity stunt to promote himself or the good intentions of an aging Hollywood actor, it doesn’t really surprise me.  This is a country that had a former actor as its President & a body building robot from the future as Governor. (Arnie is really a Terminator isn’t he?).

Along other members of the Maricopa posse is former Hulk TV star, Lou Ferrigno.  With him standing at the school gates all green & angry looking with his shirt ripped & in his non shredding stretchy pants, even the pupils are going to think twice about going in. Put me in the Sherriff’s boots & I’d be tempted to call in Captain America, Wolverine or even the Hooded Claw. But I’d definitely have Eastwood direct it.

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