Friday, 22 February 2013

May the yoga be with you

In the news today, Star Wars obsessives are combining their compulsive like behaviour of all things from the movies with a little keep fit.

Self-proclaimed Jedi Master, Alain Bloch has set up lessons in lightsabre techniques for other equally passionate wannabe Masters to protect the galactic republic.  As he has a martial arts background, no one is better placed to be a defender for the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy.

Mr Bloch, who doesn’t appear in the holy bible of who’s who, Wikipedia, so therefore can be immediately discredited as a random fruit loop, is no doubt making a profit from these poor gullible Star Wars extremists.  The only quote from Alain was the deep & evocative, “Always be mindful of the presence!” What the hell does that mean?  Maybe it’s a reference to all the ‘presents’ he can now afford to lavish on himself for the extortionate entrance fee into his ‘Golden Gate Knights’ classes in San Francisco.

His devotees are even arriving at the classes dressed up in various costumes from the films, with a couple going on a date to one of them.  Not knowing someone too well in the early stages of a relationship & trying to impress?  Let me think where can you take her to really show her you’re passionate?  That I’m sure was the end of that courtship.

Some have entered into the spirit by saying they wish to experience the dark side of the force.  Hopefully these partisans of the lightsabre are just joining in for the fun of things & are not sad loners harbouring murderous intentions, who spend their lives in their bedrooms with the internet as their only friend. But I’m sure that they are just ‘fun’ guys at heart & don’t see it as an opportunity to decapitate random strangers with a glowing fluorescent light bulb.

This worrying trend, particularly in America for fanatical followings such as this is higlighted in the words of the student dressed as Darth Vader, Gary Ripper, (honestly he does have a serial killers name), “I just love Vader, period. Just his voice, the way he moved, the power of him”.  Gary, you need some therapy dude. 

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