Thursday, 28 February 2013

Gun Dog

In the news today, the gun toting Bulldog that shot his owner in the leg. The unnamed dog was traveling as a front seat passenger in his master’s pickup truck when the incident took place.

Immediately from the first paragraph & the words gun & pickup, you would be correct in deducing that this is a story from America.  For one we Brits are far too tied down with red tape to even contemplate allowing a dog to ride up front!  That has to contravene several health & safety laws straight off, we aren’t going to risk a £60 fine & three points on our licence for no one! Oh yeah & guns are illegal too.

The dog owner, Gregory Lanier informed police that his unholstered 9mm Beretta was in between him & the dog in the middle of the front seats; he also thought it wasn’t loaded. The Bulldog has said to have jumped around in the front of the pickup & somehow sat on the gun & it fired.  Fortunately for Gregory, the bullet entered & exited his left calf. 

I’m no CSI expert but unlike Britain, American cars are left hand drive, which would put the gun happy dog on the driver’s right along with the pistol.  Unless Gregory had his legs crossed somehow, which would have made manoeuvring the pickup tricky, logic says that he should have been shot in the right leg.  Mr Lanier reportedly had a rifle in the truck too, but this was not loaded, just as well or he may have had his left ear blown off.

It is reported that New York police haven’t filed any charges in relation to this incident; this would be against Gregory if they had, not the dog I surmise, as there are no laws against dogs being in charge of a loaded weapon. But there must be something to do with being a dumb ass in control of a gun & a Bulldog in a confined space. 

All that is known about the poor tan & white Bulldog is that it was taken to a friend’s house, no doubt giving it large to all of the other dogs in the neighbourhood about how he popped a cap in his owner’s ass.  Or was that he was taken to a friend of Gregory’s house?  Either way, canine & human acquaintances alike are all laughing at you Gregory.

Traditionally Setters, Retrievers & Pointers are known for being portrayed in a certain role, this must be the first time a Bulldog has been referred to as Gun Dog. 

No comments:

Post a Comment